Just came back from penang yesterday which is on a Fathers' Day. The long 4 hours ride were damn tiring.
I read about a Fathers' Day's dedication in Milky's blog. Well, glad that i was mentioned in the blog too where he said: "the person i love the most is my dad, mom and shahadah". I'm so touch that he loves me and i'm proud of him for the dedication.
But it makes me feel guilty for not spending more time at home with my dad but hang out with my best buddies for the whole saturday. And what i did on Sunday morning (which is Fathers' Day) was just a simple greeting for my dad. i said: "oh yeah, happy fathers day. i'm broke. can i replace the present next year?"
I'm such a messed up and miserable kid.
Even worse when my results for last semester were out later on yesterday night. The results for both my major courses were totally screwed. I mean SCREWED!! B and B-?? What the heck is that? Those 2 alphabets there make my pointer drop like hell.
Tears broke free in an instant. I cant believe this is happening to me. It's not that i skip class all the time or never hand in my assignments. The exams were even not really hard to answer. I used to get A's for my majors, so can somebody pls tell me what the hell is wrong?
I called mom up and told her about my results. I wonder whether she's disappointed. She consoled me and try to cheer me up. Talking about this makes me miss home already. The feeling of homesick that i once had is back. It's like a pain that try to re-enter my life. And it seems to me that this time, it's back to stay. Dreams broken, goals were washed away in 1 single moment...what else is there for me to hang on and continue this battle towards glory and success?
How i wish that my parents are here with me now.
Dad,
Thanks for everything you did for me. Thanks for sending me to school for an appropriate education. Thanks for still finacially supporting me. And thanks for many many things that you sacrificed for me that i didnt see.
Time passes by so quickly. you're getting older, so am i. But each and everyday, i realised that i love you and mom more and more.
I'm not a perfect daughter but i'll try to be one. I want you and mom to be proud of me someday, i'm working on it. I want to provide you guys the life that we cant afford to have before, and i'm still working on it. believe me i really do. I love u both, 'lou tao' and mommy.
Happy Belated Fathers' Day.
It's such a shame that I dont even have a picture of him with me now. I miss u daddy.
(picture obtained from www.yahoo.com)
2 comments:
Hey Shadi-chan,
I dont know a B can screw your life, I used to have that in school and it was enough. I know that you're a straight A student but a B never killed anyone as long as it helps passes your classes. I dunno if the scholar system is similar to ours but this is what i think.
Always remember I beleive in you and I know you,re the best :D
arigatoo andre-chan for all ur support. i know B is good enough. but the B- is killing me. lol. i'm a little bit disappointed. maybe my expectation is too high like my mom said.
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